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Ole Christmas Tree ūüéĄ

Ole Christmas Tree ūüéĄ

It’s that time of year again. That yuletide season where we get to put up the lights, wrap the presents, check if we're Tier 1, 2, 3 or 4 and get socially-distant-merry-AF.

However, there is one argument that has been raging this season more than those in the past. No, it’s not the political mansplaining your conspiracy theory loving uncle is dishing the rest of the family, though that one is raging on as well.  The argument on everyone’s lips this Christmas is real versus fake tree.

The two camps on this argument both think that their side is a no brainer, but that’s only because they are using half a brain and can’t pull the other part out of their keister long enough to look at it from the other’s perspective. That’s where we come in. Hopefully.  We want peace and goodwill towards all humanity this Christmas season and get back to what’s important….stuffing ourselves with Christmas goodies. Oh yeah, and spending time with loved ones in our bubble. That one too.

Let’s start with the real tree. Having a real Christmas tree is so engrained in the Christmas tradition for some that they can’t imagine Christmas without one. However, we think that it does say something about a holiday where one of the prominent symbols is killing something and letting it slowly rot in your living room while you put decorations on it. Having a real Christmas tree means that there is a high fire danger in your house as well as removing one of those air producing trees from the wild.

The flip side is the fake tree; it can be reused year after year and doesn’t need to be watered. Some fake trees have lights already built-in, so you’re not spending most of December untangling lights. However, fake trees are made of plastics and metals that might not be able to be recycled. Once they break down, they could be earmarked for the landfill, and I think we can all agree that’s as welcomed as a lump of coal in a stocking at Greta Thunberg’s house.

We’re not here to tell you how to live your life, but we are here to tell you to make your holiday right the best way you think is possible. If that’s with having a real tree, make sure it’s from a sustainable and ethical tree farm. If you are using a fake tree, make sure it’s a quality made product that will last and can be recycled.

Now to the vital part…PASS THE PIE! Merry Christmas from all of us to all of you from the hearts of our bottoms.

Grooms of The Stool

Grooms of The Stool

These weirdly fabulous bunch stand ready to assist in your bodily functions of excretion and ablution. Simply put, our Grooms of The Stool make sure you never run out of Uranus Wiper in your home. They also help us strive towards our Big Hairy Audacious Goals of keeping Earth and Uranus clean.

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