The Late-Night ‘Do I Have Haemorrhoids’ Search, A Guide Written Just for You

It's late, you should be asleep, and instead you are hunched over your phone typing “do I have haemorrhoids” with the bathroom fan on for moral support. If that is you right now, you are not alone and you are not ridiculous. Let us walk through this calmly.

First, breathe. Haemorrhoids are common and often manageable

Haemorrhoids, also known as piles, are small swollen blood vessels in and around your bottom. They are extremely common in adults, and many people never mention them to anyone, including their GP. Symptoms often settle within a few days, especially with a bit of gentle care at home.

Some people have haemorrhoids and never notice. Others get the full collection of itching, swelling, and the unforgettable surprise of bright red blood on the toilet paper. None of this is fun, but it is usually not an emergency. There are, however, times when you should get checked more urgently, which we will come to in a moment.

Common “do I have haemorrhoids” symptoms

Everyone’s body is different, and online lists will never replace a proper medical check. That said, people with haemorrhoids often report:

• Bright red blood on the toilet paper or in the bowl after a poo
• Itching or irritation around the anus
• A soft lump that you feel when you wipe, or a lump that hangs down and sometimes needs gently pushing back in
• Mucus on your underwear or toilet paper
• Soreness, swelling or a feeling of fullness around your bottom

Mild haemorrhoids are often more annoying than painful. More severe ones can be quite sore, especially when sitting or going to the toilet.

Internal, external, and why it feels confusing

Internal haemorrhoids sit higher up inside the back passage. External ones are closer to the outside. You can have one type or both at the same time, which is why things can feel muddled. Pain does not always match size, and tiny changes can feel huge when nerves and anxiety are involved.

When late night googling is fine and when you should talk to a doctor

A lot of people manage mild haemorrhoids at home for a short spell, especially if:

• Your symptoms are mild and have only been around for a few days
• You only see a small amount of bright red blood on the paper
• You are a bit itchy or sore, but you are otherwise well

Even then, if symptoms keep returning, last longer than a week, or simply bother you, it is sensible to speak to a GP. They can check that nothing else is causing the problem and offer stronger treatments if needed.

Get urgent medical advice if you notice any of the following

Contact your GP urgently, NHS 111, or local urgent care if you have:

• Blood in your poo for several weeks
• Black or very dark red stools
• Bloody diarrhoea
• A lot of blood in the toilet, or bleeding that does not stop
• Severe pain around your bottom
• Fever, feeling shivery, or generally very unwell
• A new painful lump or change around your bottom that worries you

Go to A&E or call 999 if you have heavy bleeding, feel faint or dizzy, or are worried that something serious is happening. Rectal bleeding is not always caused by haemorrhoids, which is why getting checked matters.

What you can do right now, tonight

If you are sitting on the edge of the bath reading this, you probably want practical help more than another anatomy lecture. Here are gentle steps you can take this evening, as long as you are not in an emergency situation.

1. Make wiping less of a battle

Friction and inflamed skin are a bad combination. Dry, scratchy toilet roll can make soreness worse and can sometimes aggravate bleeding. Aim for:

• Patting or gently dabbing clean rather than scrubbing
• Avoiding heavily fragranced soaps or wipes that leave your skin stinging
• Using cool or lukewarm water to rinse, not hot water

This is where a soft, pH balanced wipe with soothing botanicals can help, especially on days when even sitting down feels ambitious. The aim is calm, clean, and unbothered, not red and over scrubbed.

2. Try simple comfort tricks

A few small comforts can take the edge off:

• Sitting on a soft cushion rather than a hard chair
• A short warm bath or shallow sitz bath to ease soreness
• A wrapped cold pack held gently on the area for short periods to calm swelling
• Paracetamol for pain relief, if it is safe for you to take it

Ibuprofen is not recommended if you have bleeding, unless your doctor has advised it, so check the information on the packet or speak to a pharmacist.

3. Give tomorrow’s bowel movement a better chance

The less you have to strain, the kinder life is to your haemorrhoids. Even at night, you can set yourself up for a gentler morning:

• Drink a glass of water before you go back to bed
• Plan a breakfast with fibre, for example porridge, wholemeal toast or fruit
• Remind yourself not to linger on the toilet scrolling your phone for ten minutes

Over the next few days, aim for more fluids, more fibre, and less straining. That combination is very boring and very effective.

The next step after tonight

If your symptoms are mild and improve over a few days with gentle care, you may not need anything more than lifestyle tweaks and kinder hygiene. If they keep coming back, you are worried about bleeding, or things are affecting your daily life, speak to a GP or pharmacist.

Your GP can:

• Check that it is haemorrhoids and not another condition
• Offer creams, ointments or suppositories for pain, itching and swelling
• Refer you for hospital treatments such as rubber band ligation if symptoms are severe or persistent

None of this makes you dramatic, weak, or vain. It makes you a person who prefers not to wince every time they sit down.

Where soothing wipes fit into the picture

Think of haemorrhoid care in three parts. Softer poo, less pressure, kinder cleaning. The last part sounds small, but when the skin around your bottom is already annoyed, what you wipe with matters a lot.

Uranus Wiper soothing wipes are made to be part of that kinder cleaning routine, with plant based ingredients chosen for their calming, skin friendly reputations. Witch hazel, Cynanchum atratum, agrimony and male fern root are there to support skin that is inflamed, itchy or just fed up, without the harshness of strong perfumes or alcohol.

They do not replace medical treatment, and they will not fix every problem on their own, but they can help make each bathroom visit less dramatic while you sort out the bigger picture with your GP, diet, and daily habits.