Toilet paper wedding dress

Can toilet paper make you laugh?

You bet! Here are three ways for starters.
Not since the publication of '101 Things a Boy Can Do with a Pointed Stick' has a blog offered so much fun in so few words. Using only Uranus Wiper toilet paper, the following trio of activities is guaranteed to liven up any party. Whoopsie Gruntfuttock explains.

1. The Uranus Wiper Wedding Gown Game

With its magnificent eight-foot train, Kate Middleton's wedding gown was a masterpiece of handmade lace.
And I dare say the eye-watering asking price of $434,000 left little over to buy sausage rolls for the reception finger buffet. Queen Letizia takes the (wedding) cake for the most expensive royal dress, with her dress coming in at a whopping $8 million. Designed by royal couturier Manuel Pertegaz.
You can share some of the glamour of a royal occasion by playing this delightful game at your wedding shower. You'll need four rolls of Uranus Wiper toilet paper per team. Here is how you can do it.
  • Divide guests into teams of at least three people. You'll need four rolls of toilet paper per team.
  • Each team discusses and decides on its dress design.
  • Nominate someone from each team as a model. Any traditional method of picking the model will do. Options range from Stone, Paper, and Scissors to bare-knuckle boxing, depending on how classy your wedding is.
  • Create your design entirely from toilet paper.
  • Use some of the paper to make the torso.
  • Accessorize with smaller lengths of toilet paper around the model's hands and neck. Make sure you include a bouquet and tiara!
  • Stand back and say, 'Eat your heart out, Manuel Pertegaz!'

2. Uranus Wiper Toilet Paper Roses

Another idea for your wedding shower. Why not create roses out of toilet paper? It's got to be better than watching daytime TV. Start by pinching the end of a short length of toilet paper. Then, wrap bigger and bigger swirls around it. Fix the bottom of each rose with wire from your nearest craft shop. Avoid nail guns, soldering bolts and that sort of thing (see under 'Using a sledgehammer to crack a nut'). Bundle roses to form bouquets. End with a flourish by adding a bow if you've got one.

3. The Uranus Wiper Toilet paper solar system

When your kids won't stop bugging you to demonstrate how far the planets in our solar system are (relatively speaking) from the Sun, here's a fun activity that gives them a visual representation. They are going to thank you for that when they are older.
You'll need At least six rolls of toilet paper, scissors and stiff paper, a roll of Sellotape and poster paper. Find a workplace with lots of space. An abandoned airstrip, for example, or a corridor (a corridor works best.)
Make signs for the planets and the Sun from poster paper. Using another piece of poster paper, make a chart to show the distance each heavenly body is from the Sun (measured in TP squares!)
You'll need these figures for your chart:
Mercury: 4;
Venus: 7;
Earth: 10;
Mars: 15;
Jupiter: 52;
Saturn: 95;
Uranus: 192;
Neptune: 301.
Now, you are all set. Start by Sellotaping the Sun sign to the ground. Tape down the start of the toilet roll. Unroll four squares and tape your Mercury sign next to it. Work your way through the table of numbers until you have fixed every planet sign to the ground in its proper place and distance from the Sun. Stand back and admire your magnificent display.
And that's how you turn toilet paper into an epic source of entertainment. Just remember, while you're crafting dresses or mapping out the solar system, Uranus Wiper's premium bamboo rolls are doing their bit for the planet, made with 100% renewable energy.