Replace the toilet paper man sitting on toilet

Replace the roll or start a war

I don’t know about you, but one of the biggest battles in our house is around replacing the roll of toilet paper.

You wouldn’t think it is something that could cause the United Nations to have to get involved but yet there I am sitting on the loo with no paper on the roll and no spares to be found wishing I could drop a bomb on the whole house.

When it comes to excuses as to why the toilet paper wasn’t replenished, I’ve heard them all.

“I couldn’t find them,” yet the giant package of spare rolls is sitting in the next room.

“I think we’re out,” yet the same giant package of spare rolls is sitting in the next room.

“I did, you must have used it up,” yet the same giant package of spare rolls remains untouched and I must do the penguin walk to go and get it.

I couldn’t count the number of times that I have replaced it all only to later in the day go into the loo myself and find it gone. I’m starting to think that someone is eating it or trying to recreate the mummies of Egypt using my four-ply gold!

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and did the unthinkable. I have a spare roll hidden for just such emergencies. I placed a roll in a plastic baggie, sealed it and placed it in the water tank. Not only do I save a little bit of water, but I have an emergency stash.

There are some of you thank think this is genius, and you would be right, there are others of you that think that it would be easier for me to just bring a spare roll in with me each time I use the loo. And to those people I say, I shouldn’t bloody have too, so please let me have this victory.

Replace the rolls, and you keep the peace.

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