Ok GDPR is a blunt tool when it comes to parenting and alone time in the porcelain throne room. You think the kids are cute little privacy invaders when they're little, but as soon as they grow up, they morph into not so cute, big privacy invaders.

I've decided to pull on my controversial pants this month. So please fasten your seat belts, and let's get to it. I am talking here of the common or garden fart. It may be acceptable for squaddies to snigger about farting in a military barracks after lights out, but almost everywhere else, farting as a subject of conversation remains strictly taboo.

There’s something down there! What? More than you bargained for, that’s what. This week we drop down into the sewers to see what we can find. Quite a lot, as it turns out.

I was sitting in the throne room this morning meditating over what else busy people like you and me could do with ten minutes if we didn’t have to go to the toilet, and I came up with three suggestions that I really must share with you today!

As of today, a central pillar of statistics lies in ruins. The headline in the Chipping Sudbury Bugle said it all: ‘Law of Nature overturned as Uranus Wiper prove Infinite Monkey Theory False!’

I learned from my news feed this week of a tiger at large in Houston, Texas — roaming the streets like a quarter-tonne tabby cat, it was. I am regularly amazed by people's choice of exotic pets. I mean, where do they buy them? Surely there can't be any pet store with a tiger in the window, nestled between the dwarf rabbits and the Gerbils, with a '£500 (Or Nearest Offer)' sign round its neck.