Blog on the bog

Whether you're perched on a toilet in Kilmarnock, a lavatory in Benghazi, a bog in Caerphilly, or a loo in Darwin, the smallest room is often a sanctuary for ponderous thought.

Uranus Wiper champions this reflective ritual with premium bamboo toilet rolls that transform even the most mundane moments into an act of eco-consciousness. Twice monthly, our restroom raconteur, Whoopsie Gruntfuttock, delivers thought-provoking musings from her commode, equipped with nothing but our eco-friendly, soft, and strong toilet tissue, an iPad, and a smattering of today's top stories.

Get ready for blog posts that cut through the crap with the same ease as our quilted toilet roll. Tune in for a flush of insights that’ll leave your mind as refreshed as your bottom. Enjoy the read with Uranus Wiper – the ultimate bamboo toilet paper for discerning bottoms of our United Kingdom.

  • Tiger and hippo toy models with palm background

    Loose tigers, hippos in the garage — Oh, and tips for avoiding vampires!

    I learned from my news feed this week of a tiger at large in Houston, Texas — roaming the streets like a quarter-tonne tabby cat, it was. I am regularly amazed by people's choice of exotic pets. I mean, where do they buy them? Surely there can't be any pet store with a tiger in the window, nestled between the dwarf rabbits and the Gerbils, with a '£500 (Or Nearest Offer)' sign round its neck.
  • Rhinoceros with zebra stripes

    Inverted Rhino, Anyone?

    Nor is the rhinoceros the only large animal likely to do you harm unless treated with respect. 
  • Lactobacillus Ferment bacteria floating

    Let’s have three cheers for lactobacillus!

    There is a war going on, in case you didn’t notice, inside us. It’s a millions-of-years-old conflict between clashing clans of bacteria.
  • Would you step forward for science?

    Would you step forward for science?

    There has never been a shortage of volunteers for scientific research; however it might appear out of left field.
  • Sid, Doris, N'doogoo and the Tiddlywink Lady

    Sid, Doris, N'doogoo and the Tiddlywink Lady

    Two news items caught my eye this week. A major online news outlet reported that surgeons recently removed a tiddlywink from the nose of a 45-year-old New Zealand woman. And one of the UK red tops told us the sorry tale of a bloke who got hammered and recklessly changed his name for a bet.
  • Ice cream with Earth imagery depicting global warming and climate change

    Climate Change

    “If Climate Change is real…then why am I cold?”

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